Well, That Was Unexpected
by Monday Morning Murder
Summary: Roy has a broom and wants to burn things. Roy/Ed.


**Summary: **Roy has a broom and wants to burn things.  
**Genre: **...broomy with a hint of love?  
**Warning:** Cornyness.  
**Disclaimer:** Obviously not my characters.  
**Authors note:** My first fanfiction! Hurrah! Other than that, I think the warning said it all. And THANK YOU, Tyan, hon, for fixing the spaces for me.  
And please let me know what else needs fixing. Like, maybe the genre.

* * *

Roy stared at the small fragments of dust twirling around in the air, glittering in the sunshine. How could something be so beautiful, and yet so annoying? He had to sweep the whole courtyard before he could call it the day, so he knew he should get cracking, but still... how could it look so beautiful? It just didn't make sense.

Then again, lots of things didn't make sense nowadays. Like how Havoc turned out to be the mastermind behind a scheme so complicated, and so easy, that it made Roy's head hurt just thinking about it. And now Havoc ruled the whole country. That bastard.

Roy's hands tightened around the broom, and for a moment he wished he could burn the whole building down instead of sweeping it.

Then the moment passed, and he knew he would've been the one to sweep up the ruins anyway. He sighed heavily and straightened himself up. He was Roy Mustang, goddammit. If he was going to sweep this place, he was going to sweep it well!

But that would be time-consuming, and he wanted to get off work early, so today he was just going to be Roy the Janitor Who Swept Floors Kind Of Okay. That should be enough.

He begun conducting his janitorial duties in deep thoughts, mostly ones about burning dust, and naturally did not notice anything else before someone laid a hand on his back. Startled, he whirled around, holding the broom out like a sword.

"Sorry," Ed said without looking the least apologetic. "Didn't know you get scared so easily."

Roy shook his head. "I don't," he said and resisted the urge to sigh again. "I was just... thinking."

"About burning this place down?"

"Without leaving a single trace."

"So you don't have to clean up the mess."

"Right."

Ed tried to hide his smile, but failed and turned his head slightly away instead. Not that it fooled Roy, he always noticed the smile. Not the Sure-I'm-Okay-Even-Though-Something-Terrible-Just-Happened-Don't-Worry-Smile. It was the genuine smile. The one that brightened his face and made those golden eyes glow.

"Oh, and Roy?" Ed turned his face towards him again, the smile was gone. "I'm pregnant."

The broom fell to the ground with a clattering sound. Roy's jaw dropped, leaving his mouth slightly open, giving him an expression reminiscent to that of a gold fish. _Pregnant_? But how? Ed was a male, a male! He had manly parts, Roy _knew_ he had manly parts. This couldn't be true. Ed could not be pregnant.

If Ed was pregnant, it would mean that something was off inside him, just like Roy had always feared. And Edward, that bastard, had always looked at him and said "I lost my arm and leg, not my mind. Stop worrying," and Roy would tell him that it wasn't his mind he was worried about (hell, they both knew he was a little off in that department), but rather his bodily health. That something was off inside him, something that couldn't be fixed, just like with Edward's teacher who kept vomiting blood, staining the carpets, making Roy clean it up whenever he and Ed went to visit.

And every time he tried voicing his concern, Ed would grin and say "You can't fix everything anyway, Mustang. If you could, you would be the leader of the land, now, wouldn't you?" and Roy would shake his head, thinking about Havoc, not knowing if he should laugh or cry.

But what if Roy had been right all along, and something inside of Edward _had_ changed. And sure, Roy wanted a family, but he hadn't gotten around to discuss it with Ed yet, and it was too soon anyway, and Roy was a janitor, and Ed was _pregnant, _and... laughing.

Edward was laughing.

Roy realized he had been holding his breath for quite some time now, and slowly let it out while glaring at Ed, who seemed to have trouble standing up.

"You're not that pregnant, are you," Roy said, picking up the broom from the ground.

"I'm sorry, you should've seen the look on your face," Ed laughed. "Admit it, you're glad Hawkeye left you for Al."

His hair looked radiant as it danced around in the beams from the sun, once again raising the question of beautiful, yet annoying things, in Roy's head. There was nothing in this world as beautiful as Edward. And no one that managed to get under his skin like him either.

"I will not admit to anything," Roy said, "before you admit you're glad Winry left you for Havoc."

Ed glared at him. "You're a bastard, Mustang," then he looked away, trying to hide the smile once again. "I love you, you know I do," he said, eyes glowing.  
Roy knew.

He also knew he had to sweep the damn courtyard.

"I have to start working," he said, and kissed Edward softly on the lips before turning away. He hated saying goodbye to him. Which was stupid, because they said it all the time, but they had already spent so much time apart, and for some reason Roy never got tired of just looking at him. "I'll see you when I get home."

Ed grinned. "Yeah, right. You'll never get home at this rate. I'll give you a hand."

Small fragments of dust was twirling around in the air, glittering in the sunshine, along with the gold in Edward's eyes.

Roy started sweeping. Sometimes, it wasn't that bad being a janitor.


End file.
